K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
