"it" just moved
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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