i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
