but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
