i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
