He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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