Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
