I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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