sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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