I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
