is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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