If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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