Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
