You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
