I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
