where am i from again
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
