I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
