wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just cut my nipple shaving
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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