I'm lost and stupid without you.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
