I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
