Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
