I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
