I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
