ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
