So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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