when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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