What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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