Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
