My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
