As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
vagina is talking i cant
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
