So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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