the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Your cock deserves a montage
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
