dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
