Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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