Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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