I am puke
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
