oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
