She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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