remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
