I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
