did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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