Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
