At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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