i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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