Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
