There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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