New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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