I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
