Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
