Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
