Well apparently he's into motor boating.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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