I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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