Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
