he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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