i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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