I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
They have beer where we have blood.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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