just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
