Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
