Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
