Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
