You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just had sex on a roof
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
