I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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