"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize