Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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