So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize