Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
