I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I think my moral compass just broke
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
try to milk me bitch
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