Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
