Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
