get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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