weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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