thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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