She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
