I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
