Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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