thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
